I
was recently digging through some old projects and came across a blog that a
friend of mine wrote for a collaboration. In this, she talked about how
her husband loved her unconditionally without expectations of changing her. It
was a beautiful insight to a woman knowing her worth, and marrying a man that
found value in it. Fast forward four years, this couple is now going
through a divorce. I found myself smiling at the blog entry, wondering if I
sent it to her could it rekindle the love they had for one another and change
their circumstances.
As
a married woman, I know that feelings and expressions of love are not
consistent throughout marriage. The for better or worse can actually
happen in the beginning and the middle for some of us. I knew from my
parents’ marriage that every day wasn’t rosy and that every anniversary wasn’t
happy. Even though you’ve chosen someone to be in your life forever, life
happens. You have children, you experience losses, you experience
triumphs, and you experience self-reflection. Either of these
circumstances (and many more) can make or break a marriage. So how do you
resolve and make sure your marriage endures? My husband and I learned
from some couples who have lasting power that you have to take divorce off the
table.
I
know that in this day and age, that might sound ridiculous. We live in a
time that getting out of a bad situation has to be an option. But let me
paint a different picture for you. When I think about how God has been a
consistent love for me, I’m reminded of how real unconditional love is.
I’ve done things that I’m not proud of, and yet God loves me. Let’s look
at it from yet another perspective. As parents our kids will continuously make decisions
and do things that upset us, yet you love them. You can’t divorce them
per se. We love what we’ve birthed far more than what we chose. Marriage was
the first union that God created. We have to honor that unconditionally.
There
are tons of things that lead to divorce. Most of which, I will not make
light of. No one should stay in a relationship where they live in
fear. No one should stay in a relationship if their partner is going to
be a habitual offender to the sanctity of marriage. But for those of you
that are not married yet, go into your marriage knowing that this is your
forever. You and your partner must be on the same page in so many
respects so that the world cannot come in and divide you. This is your
LIFE partner. And when you get to that place in your marriage where you
feel like you don’t want to be there any more, tug on that 3-cord rope that God
resides in, and let Him have His way. Believe me, there’s no such thing
as a road to Happily Ever After, that doesn’t have a pothole, sink hole, rugged
pavement or the impossible icy hill. Turn on your all-wheel drive and hit
the gas pedal and never stop moving forward. When you say “I do”, you
have to make sure that you actually “do”.
And to my husband…buckle up with that 3-cord rope
honey. I’m pressing on the gas love, and we press on.
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