The Era of the Side Piece Part 2 of 3

I know some women out there who would love to scream "Bring back the Mistress". Not that having a mistress was ever a good thing for the wife or girlfriend at home but there was a time when a mistress stay behind the scenes. There are women who had entire families with married men and never caused a problem for his wife and children. Secrets come out all of the time about whispers of someone else being the father of an illegitimate child. Am I praising this behavior. No, with a capital NO. However if you look at today's Mistresses now proudly wearing the title of side chic. They repeatedly overstep their bounds and forget their place in line. I'm not referring to the women out there who've been mislead and were not aware that he is currently in a relationship and had been for years or is married, engaged etc. I'm talking about the women who knew/know about his wife, live-in girlfriend, baby mama, whatever and know she's not his main girl. These chics now, going through phones, inboxing wives, DM girlfriends, posting selfies and bragging, showing up at her home, blowing up his phone when he's with his family, and going on full-fledged dates, stealing privileges that have not been given to you. How are you as the 'extra' in this picture mad and fighting the original staring cast member? Make it make sense. My rule to those who have chosen to walk in that lifestyle, when you're caught you have no right to be mad at the wife, girlfriend, or whatever she calls herself if she was there first. If this unsuspecting woman is blindsided and heartbroken because of a situation that you played a role in, you just have to take whatever she has to say just like he does. There are consequences to all choices we make be it good or bad and that is one you have to deal with should it come your way. That lame excuse and comeback that 'if you were doing what you needed to he wouldn't be with me'. Is tired and that broken record is not always true. If you were that much better than her he would leave her to be with you. If the wife is still around then she's around for a reason. At the end of the day 'side chicks' deserve to be happy too and if this man is feeling you like that, make him close that chapter before he starts a new one with you. News Flash for you, chances are you'll end up with in a tug-of-war and if you win you're prize will be a bunch of baggage you had no idea the wife was dealing with in the first place. Have fun! I haven't forgotten about the men that are side pieces. They have a tendency to stay in their lane more often then not because chances are if they are your side piece then you are theirs as well. It's all messy and nasty and why Maury, Paternity Court, and Steve Wilkos will continue to do shows about DNA. Its a double standard but at the end of every segment when they announce those 'unexpected' results who is usually crying and running of the stage? Who is left caring for an unwanted, possibly 'unfathered' child. Social Media, Reality TV, Music and Pop Culture have encouraged the era of the side piece. The blame still falls on us as sheep because we have lost the ability to separate real life from entertainment. What you hear, see, and read on the internet, television and radio should not be a script for your life unless you are the actor playing the role and getting paid for your services. I will end this by saying I'm a happily married woman but If I find out my husband has a side piece she can have him and don't come calling me later trying to give him back. I have a strict no return or refund policy. I promise you they don't make many women like me who can handle him like I have. It's like taming a wild animal and you'd need to be highly skilled and qualified or you'll get hurt. #JaneluvsTarzan Stay tuned for the last part of this series.

What if they cheated? Part 1 of 3

Well it's been a while and I wasn't sure where to post this, but it's most fitting to discuss cheating in a blog regarding 'love'. Most people at some point in their life have experienced the heartache of being cheated on or at times have been the cheater. Although this has not been in an issue is my current relationship, it has been in the past. The reason I'd like to address this is because it seems to be all around me and I must admit it makes me nervous. It makes me want to hug my husband tighter, love him harder, and show him that I'm all he needs in a wife. But let me tell you ladies and gentlemen, when it comes to infidelity that doesn't matter. I can't force my husband to see me as the prize that I am if he doesn't want to and that goes for anyone out there who has or is dealing with infidelity. I'm also not saying that there have never been situations where one mate has pushed another mate into someone else's arms. People have been neglectful, angry, bitter, lazy, emotionally unavailable, abusive, passive, physically unavailable, unstable, etc and their other half has felt they had no other choice but to have those needs met by someone outside of the relationship. I say this to point out if it happens the first response is point the finger at yourself asking 'what did I do wrong' 'could have I have been a better man/woman' 'did I not try hard enough'. When you ask yourself those questions and if you can truthfully say you brought your A game to the relationship, that you did your part as a spouse, help meet, partner, and lover. Baby, don't carry that burden with you. That is not yours to own. Don't weigh yourself down carrying hurt, pain, and blame for the issues and transgressions of those that are not a reflection of who you are or what you represent. That heartache and betrayal belongs to the cheater, you can relieve yourself of those feelings and relinquish that power over your life, do not hold on to it letting it harden your spirit. Man or woman we all deserve to be happy, life is not really that short anymore but if you live your life unhappy being hurt or hurting others it's going to be a long miserable road for you. If you look in the mirror and find that you did not put your best foot forward, you dropped the ball in many situations, and when it counted most you were not the mate you should have been; except that responsibility, apologize, move forward, and make changes to be a better you, if not for your current mate then for the next one. Am I saying that excuses infidelity? No because it still hurts and leaves scars even if we feel justified in our actions. More people end up hurt then happy in most cases. We need to close the door on one chapter before moving on to the next. If I were writing a book and kept jumping from chapter to chapter not finishing what I'd started it would be messy and confusing trying to figure out what I'm talking about and most people would put the book down before getting to the end. If you are in a failing or failed relationship either fix it or end it before moving on to someone else. I could go on and on about self respect and how it relates to relationships but let me leave this here. Even if you don't believe you owe anyone anything, you owe it to yourself to live. Turn on the Tv and watch Fatal Attraction, Snapped, For My Man, Deadly Women, etc and you will see people are killing over relationships. I don't know about your but I'm not trying to end up on one of those shows. Stay tuned for part 2 of this segment "The Era of the Side Piece" and Part 3 "Where do you go from here" Love Always